


Fire and Ice

by Writing-The-Ghostbusters (writingfanfic)



Category: Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Love Triangles, Overheard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 14:03:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14380188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingfanfic/pseuds/Writing-The-Ghostbusters
Summary: For the prompt: 'Imagine Egon and Peck fighting over you'...yes SIR. Ahem.





	Fire and Ice

You sit at the table and grab your coffee, chugging it down – you were due to leave half an hour ago, but sometimes, when all three phones are ringing and there’s a queue out of the door of people holding possessed hairdryers etc., you feel like you should stay. Now, you are about to go home, take your nice shoes off, take your bra off, and not think about coming in until Monday. Sounds great, really.

“ _…your delightful receptionist anyway?_ ”

You wince instinctively – that’s Walter Peck. Why is he here?! He’s – well, he’s not too bad, but his role in PCOC means that he’s almost insufferable to you, and the way he treats you – condescending sickliness – gets your back up.

“ _Her shift finishes at 3:30, Walter-_ ” That’s Egon, and he says ‘Walter’ in the same voice most people say the word ‘syphilis’. “ _-so I would imagine she’s partaking in leisure time at home_.”

“ _Don’t you speak like a normal human? Do they turn you off at night and store you in a cupboard?_ ” Walter’s voice comes, irritated, and your brow furrows. Egon’s a sweetheart – there’s no need to be that way with him, even if you think that sometimes the guys are a little too harsh on the government worker. “ _So she isn’t still here?_ ”

“ _No. Perhaps you can vacate the premises,_ ” Egon says flatly, and you stand up, before belly-crawling to the edge of the firepole. You can hear them clearly from here, and you settle in to eavesdrop – as you find a good angle, you see them, and scuttle back a little. They’re stood behind Ecto, Egon’s lanky, thin frame vs. Walter’s square shoulders. “Perhaps we can provide you with her timetable? Purely for administrative purposes, of course, but I have a feeling our ‘random inspections’ would more than halve _._ ”

“How dare you imply that I am using my position as a government official to… to… hit on your receptionist!” Walter says. His cheeks are bright red. You had your suspicions. “I’ve noticed you always seem to be standing at her desk fixing her computer when I drop in, Dr. Spengler…”

“Is it a crime to want our receptionist’s computer working? I’ll submit a report tonight, I apologise,” Egon says coolly, and you cheer a little – silently, of course. But Egon? You had always assumed that the way he found something to work on around you was… just Egon being Egon. There couldn’t be an agenda to it… could there?

“Perhaps your time would be better suited to filing an expense report for a new computer,” Walter shoots back.  _That was a pretty good one_. “Then maybe you could get on with your job instead of bothering her.”

“We did. Two months ago. You denied it,” Egon said, deadpan, and you have to cover your mouth. “Shall I put that in the form as well?” Walter’s nearly gone purple, and you smile. “And I do not bother her. She prefers to talk to me.”  _True, but-_  what is going on?!

“Please. You couldn’t talk to her unless it was in binary. She likes talking to me too.” Again, not untrue – he’s okay to talk to when he’s not in sickly-sweet  _work_ mode. “I ,uh, mean more.”

“Perhaps if you didn’t come in and act as if she were an infant,” Egon notes darkly, “she might see you as more of an adult. But what would I know? Having studied Psychology, of course.”

“Perhaps if  _you_  didn’t treat her as if she were a science experiment!”

The two of them are almost nose to nose, and you are agape.

“I do not treat her as if she is a science experiment.” Egon’s voice has turned to ice, and you feel your stomach flip in an odd way. “She is our receptionist and a pleasant person to converse with, and if you think I can’t recognise an artificial-pack alpha behavioural attempt-”

“She is not an infant! I choose to treat her with more  _respect_  than I do you bunch of cult-forming  _lunatics_  because she  _is_  a pleasant person, and she’s treated me with more respect that you have, and if you think you can analyse me as if I’m an experiment too…” Walter is blazing in fury right now, and you stare in awe as two men  _fight_ over you. “If you think she would choose you, you are out of your Vulcan mind!”

“Because the local government shill who has a variety of nicknames based on human genitalia is a much more impressive catch,” Egon says, and you actually catch some anger. You stand up, and slide down the pole, and both of them turn around as if a gun’s gone off.

“…I just want to go home,” you say, awkwardly. Egon’s gone ashen. Walter’s face is discovering new and interesting colour variations on the other side of the reddish-purple range. “I… uh… don’t want to cause any trouble.” You sprint for the door before either of them can comment, and as you slam the door, you hear an explosion the other side of it.

“ _That was your fault, you… you… android!_ ”

“ _Your mother!_ ”


End file.
